“I would have,” answered the jockey, “but I didn’t want to leave the horse behind.”
It would have been a photo finish, but by the time my horse finished, it was too dark to take a picture.
My riding instructor said to me during my lesson, “Your horse is suffering from Equine Thrombosis”.
I was puzzled so I asked, “What causes that?”
He replied very dryly, “It’s caused by a clot in the saddle!”
Horse sense: that innate sense that keeps horses from betting on people.
Did you find my horse well behaved?
Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
Horse walks into a bar, barman asks, “why the long face?”
A horse walks into a bar. The barman confuses idioms with jokes and offers him a glass of water, but can’t make him drink
What’s a horse’s favourite TV show? Neighbours.
Riding the favourite at Cheltenham, the jockey is well ahead of the field. Suddenly he’’s hit on the head by a turkey and a string of sausages. He manages to keep control of his mount and pulls back into the lead, only to be struck by a box of Christmas crackers and a dozen mince pies as he goes over the last fence. With great skill he manages to steer the horse to the front of the field once more when, on the run in, he’s struck on the head by a bottle of sherry and a Christmas pudding. Thus distracted, he succeeds in coming only second. He immediately goes to the stewards to complain that he has been seriously hampered.
What’s the difference between praying in church and at the track?
At the track you really mean it!