There was a time when the idea of sitting at home and watching a horse race on your mobile phone seemed like a far-fetched notion. And that wasn’t all that long ago. But in all fairness, seeing the way tech was heading, we could see that happening. Now, you know we like to have a little fun here at Wackyraces so today we thought we’d explore the weirdest and wackiest (of course) racing innovations we’d like to see. They’ll probably never happen, but that doesn’t mean we don’t want them all the same.
A moving grandstand
Yes, you read that right, a grandstand that moves. Picture this; you’re at the races, betting slip in hand, ready for the off. The bell rings and the horses are out. They barrel past the grandstand (which is right by the starting gate), and as they pass, the stand itself starts to move to keep up with the horses. The entire crowd is whisked around on a monorail-like track watching every step and hearing every crack of the whip. How great would that be? The only downside we can see is motion sickness. But that’s not really a drawback if we’re entirely honest.
The robot jockey
Now if you’re a driver, there’s a 97.8% chance that a robot will take over your job in the not too distant future. That said, we find it hard to believe that a robot would ever replace our current jockeys and that’s why we want to see it so badly. Imagine the Grand National or the Kentucky Derby being won by an android jostled about on the back of a descendant of Secretariat or Desert Orchid. The after-race interview would be one of the strangest scenarios you can imagine with both horse and jockey unable to articulate how it felt to cross the finish line. It would be like something from a cheesy futuristic 80s movie. Magic.
A swimming furlong
Now, this would only work if the robot jockeys were entirely waterproof which they really should be anyway. A swimming furlong would be in the middle of the race and would involve the horse swimming through a not-too-deep pool with a jockey on the back before emerging at the other end to finish the race. If our experience watching old westerns has told us anything, it’s that horses can swim through strong currents with cowboys, or in this case, jockeys on their back. How great would it be to see the outsiders having a chance because they happen to be stronger swimmers than the favorites! Besides, according to the experts, horses love it.
A horseless furlong
Yes, we know, how can you have a horse race without a horse? But we’d love to see a race where the jockeys have to compete against each other in either the first or final furlong. Jockeys are great athletes, and we salute their skills at horsemanship, but to us, it seems like a great idea to see just how athletic they really are.
Reclining chairs at the track
Massages at the track? We’re in!Okay so maybe this one isn’t quite as wacky or out there as our other suggestions, but we just can’t stop thinking about how amazing it would be to have reclining armchairs all over the race track. Nice, big, comfy leather ones with cup holders and massage functions. And while we’re at it, perhaps an attached cooler too? We’re not asking for too much, because the technology is already here. We just have to figure out a way to convince track owners to install 20,000 recliners and let us all use them for free. It would be like going to one of those movie theaters with VIP reclining seats except you wouldn’t be at another movie with that guy Ryan Reynolds in it – you’d be at the races. It really can’t get much better than that.
So what’s your favorite or do you have any better ideas of your own? Android horses to go along with the robot jockey or something even wackier? Whatever it is, there’s one thing we’re sure of; we’ll never see any of our wacky innovations in this lifetime, and that’s a pity.